Have you RSVP’d?

Répondez s’il vous plaît , otherwise known as RSVP. Used by the French on a formal invitation to indicate that the favour of a reply is requested.

RSVP’s are most often included on formal invitations, such as wedding invitations, banquets, dinner parties, baby showers and birthday parties. The point of including the RSVP, is to give the host an idea of numbers so they can be prepared to accommodate guests in relation to seating, food, gift bags, etc. This only seems fair.

Although the almighty RSVP has been used for decades, it’s safe to say that there are several discrepancies about the proper etiquette that should be followed once the guest receives an invitation presenting the RSVP.

In my personal experience, when I receive an invitation (that asks for an RSVP) to an event, that I have decided I am NOT going to, I simply do not RSVP. I assume that if the hosts hasn’t heard from me, than he or she knows that means I won’t be in attendance, RIGHT? aaah NO, as it turns out my understanding of an RSVP is completely wrong and I am awfully rude! I’m willing to bet at least 6 out of 10 people do the exact same thing when they are asked to RSVP.

You see the RSVP can be a very useful tool, if it is understood and used correctly by all. I had this conversation with a colleague about a week ago and since then I’ve realized, that some of the words and phrases we use in general, every day conversation are not so ‘general’ after all. Knowing the correct etiquette to use in every situation, can be tricky at times and not knowing, can come across to others as a form of blatant disregard or disrespect. Therefore, for the sake of clarity, I figured, I would do a little research to find out just how we should handle this particular issue.

So here is the ‘proper’ way a guest is meant to respond when receiving an invitation that requires an RSVP;

1. If you are asked to RSVP, the correct etiquette is to respond whether the answer is a yes or a no.
2. If the RSVP does not have a deadline, then you should respond the same day you receive the invitation.
3. If you have not responded to an RSVP prior to the event (preferably before the deadline)  you should not show up at the event.

Having said that, if the host has a full appreciation of the RSVP etiquette, the correct thing for them to do, is to call the guests who are outstanding and politely ask them if they will be in attendance (I’ve had a few of these phone calls and they make for some very uncomfortable conversation).

Though etiquette, seems to be something that has fallen by the way side over the years, it is still important and speaks to socially accepted behaviors that every community must have.  You see, general etiquette is different in every setting, whether at work , or at home, at school or at a social setting, it’s important to know what is acceptable and what is not.

What will you do the next time you get a request to RSVP?